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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26503528">Mind The Gap</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DancerInTheMoonlight/pseuds/DancerInTheMoonlight'>DancerInTheMoonlight</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Alternate Seblaine [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Glee, The Flash (TV 2014)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>5+1 Things, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Barry Allen Needs a Hug, Barry Allen and Sebastian Smythe are Twins, Barry Allen is The Flash, Barry Allen is in Denial, Bisexual Barry Allen, Crossover, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Flirty Leonard Snart, Hurt Barry Allen, Hurt Sebastian Smythe, Leonard Snart Doesn't Know Barry Allen is The Flash, Leonard Snart is Captain Cold, Light Angst, M/M, Minor Barry Allen/Iris West, Minor Barry Allen/Leonard Snart, Minor Blaine Anderson/Sebastian Smythe, More Like There's Potential, Sebastian Smythe Needs a Hug, The Cold Gun (The Flash TV 2014), but he finds out</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 13:08:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,051</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26503528</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DancerInTheMoonlight/pseuds/DancerInTheMoonlight</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Sebastian felt consumed by emptiness and one time he didn't.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Barry Allen &amp; Blaine Anderson, Barry Allen &amp; Henry Allen, Barry Allen &amp; Joe West, Barry Allen &amp; Leonard Snart, Barry Allen &amp; Sebastian Smythe, Barry Allen/Leonard Snart, Blaine Anderson/Sebastian Smythe, Eddie Thawne/Iris West, Henry Allen &amp; Sebastian Smythe, Sebastian Smythe &amp; Iris West, Sebastian Smythe &amp; Joe West, Sebastian Smythe/Leonard Snart</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Alternate Seblaine [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1926862</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>102</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Mind The Gap</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>1</p><p>The first time he lets this feeling wash over him, Sebastian is eleven years old and he is being sent away, away from this place, away from his home, from his brother – the only family he has left. Because they haven’t got a mother anymore and this man they called father turned into a monster right before Sebastian’s eyes. He’d felt it deeply, all the way down to the pit of his stomach, that he was an orphan from that day on.</p><p>Not Barry, though.</p><p>Sebastian wanted to shake him, to make him see everything as clearly as he did, but Barry would not let it go. Frantically and consistently, he kept going on and on about a man in yellow, their mother’s <em>real</em> murderer, an imaginative and ridiculous solution to the way things were, and now they were taking him away. They were splitting them up and shattering what was left of their family for good.</p><p>It felt like horror. It felt like the most devastating sadness. But most of all, it felt like someone had punched a great big hole through Sebastian’s chest, a hole that was gaping and huge and invisible to anyone but himself.</p><p>As he looked back through the rear window at his brother’s anguished face growing smaller on the horizon, Sebastian wondered if he wasn’t the only one.</p><p> </p><p>2</p><p>His apology meant nothing to Blaine, as it should. It almost meant nothing to himself as well, because he’d already nearly killed two people. Rationally, Sebastian knew he had nothing to do with either of those <em>directly</em>, but responsibility still weighed down on him like bags of sand around his ankles while he was sinking, sinking. . .</p><p>What had his life become? Why was he even here?</p><p>His ‘family’ in Ohio was glad to be rid of him (not that he’d been helping his own case, either way) and at Dalton he had found, if not home, well then at least some kind of sanctuary. He realized he could be doing things, instead of hating the world.</p><p>But hating the world wasn’t so easy to relinquish. Especially when it gave him a power over others he couldn’t dream obtaining otherwise. Through trust, and not gain. Through compassion, and not self-indulgence. Through kindness, and not cruelty.</p><p>Sebastian didn’t think he used to be a cruel person. But maybe he had it wrong. Maybe he had been cruel all his life, starting with Barry, while they were still in the womb, and he pushed forward to be out first, nearly suffocating him in the process. (They said it wasn’t anyone’s fault. Of course they did, but Sebastian knew better. Had known, for a while.)</p><p>Sebastian did not want to think about Barry. Barry, who was still in Central. They tried talking once, a year ago, and it blew up in their faces. Sebastian figured Joe West had a masochistic streak, because all Barry could talk about, once he got it going, was his . . .<em>their</em> mother’s ‘unsolved’ murder. The man in yellow. How their father couldn’t have done it. Sebastian had been riled up to a point he almost threw his laptop into a wall. Who was this person, this lanky, gangly teen with green eyes and shy smiles that looked <em>just like him</em> and spewed such utter nonsense every time he opened his mouth? Who was this boy who won science fairs and aced his tests and still was dumb enough to attempt to break into a highly secured prison? Who was this moron who had always been everything Sebastian was not –kind, and compassionate, and trusting– who didn’t trust his own senses and kept hurting himself by delving deeper each day into a well-crafted fantasy of super-villains responsible for a miserable existence?</p><p>Yeah, Sebastian did not want to think about Barry. He did not want to think at all.  And he was nothing if not self-indulgent.</p><p> </p><p>3</p><p>Sebastian was well into university when he’d heard the news of Dalton burning down to the ground.</p><p>A freak accident, they said.</p><p>Still, Sebastian felt hollow all over again. He felt like he was losing a home, a parent, a sanctuary. Only this time, no one seemed to be found responsible. Not even the man in yellow.</p><p>He’d read somewhere – purely because Joe West must have thought Sebastian had a masochistic streak as well – about a Bartholomew H. Allen (and he had almost stopped reading when he saw that tainted surname, the one he refused to go by and officially changed into his mother’s the <em>second</em> he was legal) becoming the youngest CSI at the Central City Police Force. He would have felt proud if it hadn’t been blatant as to why Barry threw everything he had into this particular profession. It didn’t fill Sebastian with mindless fury anymore, but it stirred a kind of deep melancholy, like disturbing a pond of muddy water. Still, somewhere deep under all the mud, Sebastian liked to think he <em>was</em> proud of his baby brother.</p><p>If anyone noticed the perpetually gloomy undercurrent to his general mood at this five-year class reunion, which made him more sentimental than he’d been in the last couple of years put together, they didn’t show it.</p><p>The Warblers – <em>once a Warbler, always a Warbler</em> – were doing all right, most of them finishing up their university studies, only a small few foregoing university for a higher college education, and some of them already contributing to their family business. They all parted on amicable terms, and Sebastian had even stayed in good contact with his Dalton roommate, but being here, among them, made him feel both familiar and anxious.</p><p>Maybe it was Blaine Anderson, who noticed him across the room and made his way over, sitting down at his table like it was the most expected thing in the world. <em>You can’t do that</em>, Sebastian wanted to say, <em>you can’t act like I’m worthy of your time, you can’t cross so effortlessly from the past into the future, those things just aren’t done, and therefore you can’t sit here and talk like we’re friends, you can’t, you can’t, you can’t.</em></p><p>He never said any of it, of course. He talked to Blaine. He let himself feel something other than dejected. Something akin to tenderness. But he couldn’t be sure.</p><p>Blaine looked a little sad around the edges, and Sebastian felt, for perhaps the first time after a long and barren time, that he could relate. He didn’t feed on it to make it stronger, the way he used to. Instead, he offered to take some of the sadness away.</p><p>He offered, and Blaine accepted.</p><p>And just like that, one sandbag cut itself loose.</p><p> </p><p>4</p><p>Upon graduation, Sebastian realized he had nowhere to go – or at least that he had no plan to go anywhere in particular – and, on a whim and against all better judgement, went back to Central City.</p><p>His decision may or may not have been further cemented by the fact that Blaine, who was slowly but surely emerging on the indie-pop scene, had a gig at Central that same week, down at some place called <em>Jitters</em>. He’d be sure to check it out.</p><p>Walking through the city on his way from the Central Train Station, the spaces of his early youth overwhelmed him as he found they’d changed and not really changed at all. The day was sunny and nice, and he decided he could start it off with coffee, the hardened caffeine addict that he was. Maybe he’d even man up enough to stop by at the CCPD after.</p><p>The pretty girl behind the counter at <em>Jitters</em> screamed and dropped something as he came closer to make his order. Sebastian wondered if there was something on his face, but the fact that it <em>had</em> been his face seemed to be the stimulating factor.</p><p>“<em>Barry</em>,” she breathed, and Sebastian could only begin to register the sinking feeling starting in the middle of that still hollow space in his chest and all the way down to his gut, before she all but leaped over the counter and into his arms.</p><p>“I’m not him,” he said, even as she squeezed like she doubted he was real. He stood very still as he waited for it to sink in.</p><p>“What do you mean you’re not. . . <em>What</em>?” she leaned away and eyed him with such confusion it would have been comical if not for that sinking feeling which was creeping over him.</p><p>“I’m not Barry,” he repeated calmly, somehow magically not tripping over his brother’s name. “But I’ll be sure to give him a heads-up for this exceptional kind of welcome, when I see him. I’m Sebastian.” He smirked with everything he had in him, besides that hollow feeling, extending his hand towards the woman. Her eyes suddenly grew even bigger and Sebastian watched them tear up with undeniable dread. “What?”</p><p>“Oh,” she looked at him like their neighbors used to look at him before, during and after the trial. It wasn’t a look that Sebastian longed to receive. “We thought. . . Dad tried to contact you but you weren’t answering at all. I thought . . . <em>God</em>, I was so angry at you.” Sebastian couldn’t think of many reasons why someone you’ve never met in your life could be angry at you. This must mean they had met before, if only through stories.</p><p>“Whatever I did, I sincerely apologize – because I probably deserve it . . . Iris, right?”</p><p>“Oh—I’m, yeah,” she sniffled eloquently, as if the necessity of an introduction had slipped her mind.</p><p>“Joe West’s daughter.”</p><p>“That’s me,” she confirmed. Sebastian nodded. He and Joe didn’t communicate very often, and the last time they had any kind of correspondence was around the time Barry made it into CCPD. Sebastian had changed both his number <em>and</em> his e-mail address since, and frankly, gave no thought to bringing these changes to Joe West’s attention. He shrugged.</p><p>“Nice to finally meet you,” he said and found he actually meant it. “So, what’s my brother up to these days? Don’t tell me the hours at CCPD are so busy you only get to see him once a year?” he joked and her face crumpled.</p><p>“You have no idea, do you?”</p><p>“Wait, he really <em>is</em> that busy?” Sebastian asked, incredulous.</p><p>“He’s in a coma,” she said. And it hit him like a ton of bricks, jagged ones with sharp, pointy edges, hurled straight at his chest, where that ugly gaping hole had been slowly pulling itself back together. “Has been for over eight months now.”</p><p>Sebastian felt at a loss. For words, for home, for emotion. He just stood there while Iris filled him in, pouring words into his mind only for them to leak out through the renewed hole in his heart.</p><p>She said she’d take him to see Barry after her shift. But Sebastian didn’t want to see his brother anymore. Not today. Today, Sebastian wanted to run.</p><p>So he ran.</p><p> </p><p>5</p><p>A week after Sebastian finally gathered enough balls to visit, Barry woke up.</p><p>Despite everything, Sebastian had stayed in Central City, first for Blaine’s gig, then for dinner, then for another and then they were kissing and taking their clothes off in Blaine’s hotel room, and Blaine told him he was happy. Sebastian found it hard to return the sentiment, even though those things he felt with Blaine enveloped his insides like a film so soft and strong and elastic at the same time, something that could, perhaps one day, make him feel safe and secured, like he’d never fall apart again.</p><p>But right now, there was still that void inside, refusing to be filled. So he’d kept his mouth shut.</p><p>Blaine didn’t seem to mind. Blaine kissed him anyway and made his body feel good and whispered <em>Harder, yes, please, yes, </em>into his ear and held him in the soft bedside light while the sounds of relentless traffic thundered somewhere far away.</p><p>Blaine told him he wanted to meet up with a producer from Starling but that he’d be returning to Central as soon as that was done. Sebastian told him he had no plans. Then he told him about Barry. After some of the initial shock at the double news (that he had an estranged twin brother and that he was currently in a coma) subsided, Blaine said he’d stay in Central for as long as Sebastian needed to.</p><p>Sebastian was touched. Inexplicably, he also felt a little bit ashamed.</p><p>“I don’t think anybody ever offered anything like that before,” he said. “You don’t have to, B. Truly.”</p><p>“Oh, get over yourself,” Blaine huffed, pulling him into a kiss and then offering to take him out for breakfast. Sebastian had been too dazed to say no.</p><p>That is how Sebastian found himself staying at Joe West’s – which had been weird, to say the least, what with his brother still in a coma and the massive amount of pictures which looked just like him all over the place, not to mention they kept looking at him like he was an incarnation of a long dead relative. Sebastian was reluctant to admit that Joe was actually a decent guy. In fact, looking at all the pictures of Barry and Iris, he could easily picture <em>himself</em> growing up around here. It pained him a little that he <em>didn’t</em> but he was, nevertheless, grateful that Barry hadn’t ended up in a mental facility.</p><p>Barry’s room showed no signs of his obsession. He must have learned to hide it well.</p><p>When Barry finally woke, Sebastian set out to finding a place of his own. He had enough of his trust fund money to manage while he got some kind of job. Joe was reluctant to let him go but Sebastian thought Barry might want space.</p><p>Barry, however, seemed to be fixated on Star-Labs. Those two science-technicians that got him through his coma seemed to become his best buddies and Sebastian didn’t mind, not really. Besides, he could tell how things went down with Iris – and if that wasn’t a spectacular mess of a romance, then Sebastian didn’t know what was. He guessed that suppressing feelings must run in the family. Iris’ boy toy was pretty hot, even though he was clearly more than just that. Sebastian flirted shamelessly upon their first encounter and it left the guy baffled and a little shook. Then Iris explained but he looked like he still couldn’t quite wrap his head around it. Sebastian had fun that day.</p><p>More fun than he had with Barry, anyway.</p><p>His brother wasn’t exactly distant – how can you be distant if you were never really close? – but he did seem distracted. Maybe it was the fact that his life had been turned upside-down over a period of nine months. Maybe he just hated Sebastian. Who knew?</p><p>But Sebastian didn’t think that Barry was capable of truly hating anyone. That was Sebastian’s jam. Or at least it had been.</p><p>He couldn’t say that it didn’t sting that Barry practically ran off to visit their father in jail the moment he got back on his feet. But Sebastian was learning to live with it. He was learning to let it into his life. Let Barry back into his life. The path may be long but the way was paved.</p><p>It seemed that Barry might even let him. He’d invited him on a night out with his Star-Labs friends. They had bi-weekly dinners at the West house. He even met Blaine, who was now Sebastian’s roommate in a shared two-bedroom apartment (of which they utilized just the one), once. He hadn’t uttered a single word about the infamous man in yellow. It was a first and Sebastian had a funny feeling it couldn’t last. This letting people into his life so smoothly and all at once was bound to evoke some sort of unpleasant karmic comeback.</p><p>Which is why he just let out a long-suffering breath when he found himself at the back of an abandoned building, with the cold-gun pressed against his back.</p><p>“Whatever you want, I’m not worth it,” he said to the wall he was facing. He felt the gun whirr against the center of his back and briefly wondered if this was what he was destined to be filled with all along. Ice. Cold.</p><p>“On the contrary, I believe you’re exactly what we’re looking for, Mr. Allen,” the voice drawled in a precise, emotionless manner. Sebastian hadn’t been called Mr. Allen since his high-school days, and only his freshman year. The sound of his father’s last name chilled him more than the cold from the gun. “Now, as long as you answer one easy little question, you’re free to leave this place intact.”</p><p>Sebastian’s reflex was to say <em>No, you’re wrong, I’m not who you think I am,</em> and watch confusion bloom on their faces but something held him back. Whoever these men were, they had their eye on Barry. And that couldn’t be good. Maybe it was a CCPD thing. It was a dangerous job, after all.</p><p>Sebastian figured he would stall until he figured out how to get himself out of this. Unharmed.</p><p>“What’s that?”</p><p>“A little birdie told us about your involvement with a certain institution called Star-Labs, perhaps you’ve heard of it?” Sebastian thought about denying it, and then thought better. He nodded.</p><p>“Smart man. Now, it has been brought to my attention that, incidentally, the same institution has been actively collaborating with a certain vigilante. You know, tight red suit, runs really fast, calls himself the Flash,” the voice drawled. Sebastian did know all about him, from Iris West’s blog. It was as obsession rivalling Barry’s obsession with the man in yellow. Sebastian couldn’t quite bring himself to believe those stories. They all seemed a little too far-fetched, even though Iris swore she’d actually seen him. Sebastian, however, had learned his lesson the hard way with Barry and just went with it.</p><p>He just couldn’t fathom how it all fit in with Star-Labs.</p><p>“Yeah, I don’t really know that he’s even real, dude,” Sebastian scoffed and the man laughed.</p><p>“Oh, he’s very real. Even more so to someone who’s been working with him for the past few <em>months</em>.” Sebastian had a feeling <em>the</em> question was coming. “So my question to you, Mr. Allen, is this. <em>Who</em> is The Flash?”</p><p>Sebastian thought he might have hit his head somewhere along the way, or that the cold was just getting to him. Was this guy serious?</p><p>“Are you for real?” He felt the weapon dig deeper into his back.</p><p>“Don’t test my patience, Mr. Allen. I know you know.”</p><p>“I swear I don’t!” Sebastian tried to reason with this lunatic. “I don’t even believe he <em>exists</em>!”</p><p>“Well, perhaps we’ll make a believer of you yet,” the man said and Sebastian yelped as he felt the first shards of ice make contact with his skin . . .</p><p>“<em>Let him go, Snart</em>.” There was a buzzing voice which Sebastian never heard before.</p><p>“Ah, you’ve decided to join us yourself, how wonderful.” The man called Snart showed the first sign of something other than impassiveness. “This is how we’re doing it, Flash. You show me your face or I freeze a bit of Mr. Allen, here. He’s pretty. It would be quite a waste. ” Sebastian couldn’t believe he was being ogled by a kidnapper. The guy referred to as <em>The Flash</em> made a noise like he was choking but recovered immediately.</p><p>“<em>That’s all you want?</em>”</p><p>“Leverage is all I ever want.”</p><p>“<em>And you promise to let him go?</em>”</p><p>“Cross my heart.” Snart’s tone was mocking but there was an unmistakable undercurrent of curiosity there. There must have been some silent communication that followed because Snart sent his accomplice away. “Just you and me now, Flash. And Mr. Allen, of course,” he turned to Sebastian. “I’m not letting him anywhere before you keep your part of the deal. He already knows who you are, anyway.”</p><p>“I really don’t,” Sebastian choked out. He wished The Flash would hurry up and help him not freeze to death.</p><p>“Okay,” the Flash said, and to Sebastian it sounded like his own voice. Then he pulled the cowl away from his face. Sebastian gaped at his brother’s familiar features, but Snart’s expression was priceless in its shock.</p><p>“There you have it Snart, now let him go,” Barry said with a firmness Sebastian couldn’t remember about his brother.</p><p>“Well, well, well. <em>Mr. Allen</em>, I presume?” He glanced back at Sebastian. “Or are you two just eerily similar?”</p><p>“I’m not Barry Allen,” Sebastian said just as Barry said “We’re related.” They shared a pointed look.</p><p>“Interesting,” Snart mused.</p><p>“This is between you and me, Snart. He has nothing to do with it,” Barry stepped into Snart’s space looking dangerous, and Snart looking like he was enjoying it. It was unsettling to witness. Everything about this situation was unsettling.</p><p>Sebastian felt hollow again, as he’d just lost his brother learning he was secretly a <em>vigilante</em>, then retrieved him in the space of a single shared look, and now might just lose him again, as Barry Allen, <em>aka The Flash</em>, proceeded to make a deal with the devil.</p><p> </p><p>+ 1</p><p> </p><p>Being around Barry felt much easier now that he could be himself. Sebastian couldn’t say if he’d get used to his brother’s zipping from one spot to another in matter of seconds or the ridiculous amounts of food which went into his stomach like it was air going through his lungs. But he could definitely get used to Barry.</p><p><em>I’m sorry, Barr</em> was one of the first things he’d said to him, and Sebastian rarely apologized for anything. That apology contained all the <em>I’m sorry</em>s throughout their childhood, and even more of those throughout their teenage years. I’m sorry I was so selfish and cruel. I’m sorry I pushed you away. I’m sorry I didn’t believe you. I’m sorry I didn’t want to talk. I’m sorry I took my anger out on you.</p><p>And so on.</p><p>Barry just hugged him and held on.</p><p>If anyone found their rekindled brotherly relationship unusual and overly intense compared to the fact that they barely used to spend time in the same house, let alone same room, they didn’t comment on it.</p><p>Sebastian had been focused on re-learning his brother just as much as Barry had been focused on re-learning Sebastian. Barry was a faster learner, of course. He always had been.</p><p>It showed, especially one Sunday afternoon they were lounging away on the couch, just silently enjoying each other’s presence.</p><p>“Hey. Do you wanna go see Dad?” Barry asked out of the blue, like asking him what he wanted for lunch. Sebastian struggled to form an answer.</p><p>“I. . . Don’t think he’d want me to,” he finally said.</p><p>“Don’t be absurd,” Barry retorted, shaking his head like he was hearing Sebastian say two plus two equals 358. “Of course he’d want you to. He’d absolutely want you to.” Sebastian didn’t look convinced and Barry grabbed his face with both hands. “Look at me.” Sebastian looked. Barry’s eyes were green. It was like looking into his own. “I need you to understand. He talks about you <em>all</em> the time, Sebby. He <em>wants</em> to see you. He wants you.” They stared at each other for an intense moment and Sebastian nodded feeling the tension ebb away.</p><p>“You called me Sebby,” he said softly. Barry scoffed and rolled his eyes.</p><p>“What else would I call you?”</p><p>“Idiot?” Sebastian offered.</p><p>Barry just laughed and threw himself at his brother, tackling him down on the couch. Barry was a cuddler. Sebastian didn’t mind. He didn’t think he minded anything very much about Barry at all. They lay there for a couple of peaceful minutes and then Barry piped up again.</p><p>“We have half an hour before Iris and Blaine get here. I’m going to run over to Starling for some pizza but I expect you to tidy up a bit.” Sebastian huffed.</p><p>“How come you can’t tidy up, Mr. <em>Super-speed</em>?”</p><p>“Well, I could, but . . .” Barry trailed off, a smirk growing on his face.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“<em>You</em> can’t run over to Starling.”</p><p>Throwing a pillow after a laughing, disappearing trail of lightning, Sebastian briefly searched for that hollow place in his chest and found that there was none.  </p>
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